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Dealing with Stretch Marks and Other Joys of Pregnancy


Dealing with Stretch Marks and Other Joys of Pregnancy

Moms who choose not to commemorate their pregnancy with a scrapbook, blog or what-have you still often have another lasting memento: stretch marks. Yay! A pregnancy roadmap forever etched on your breasts!  How wonderful. Or… not.

Personally, I’m not too keen on my stomach looking like the New Jersey Turnpike, although I know it may be inevitable.  Much of it depends on genes, I’m sure.  It won’t be the end of the world if I’m stuck with them (being stuck at a Jessica Simpson concert would be a far worse fate), but if I can do something to minimize the scars, you can be damn sure I’m gonna do it!

My cousin, who (conveniently for me) is a labor and delivery nurse, bought me a tube of this  Erbaorganics Mommy-to-Be Stretch Mark Cream. Apparently, one of her patients used it and her skin looked “amazing.”   Thanks, cuz!  It’s too soon to say if it totally works, but at 25 weeks I don’t have any marks yet AND my skin is silky smooth.  I’m already on my second tube of the stuff.  (Got a lot of area to cover.)

Seriously, I’d even wrap myself in gypsy moth poop if someone told me it had magical anti-stretch powers.

Please note that shopping tips and suggestions are not paid for — just Candy’s general observations and ramblings — unless specified as a Sponsored Listing.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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