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Women to Fill Bra Cups with Their Muffin-Tops

In the News

Women to Fill Bra Cups with Their Muffin-Tops

Well, here’s a medical advancement I’m surprised is just becoming available:  breast enlargements using fat from other parts of the body will become a reality starting next year.

The new technique has been refined in Britain as part of a 10-year study on global developments within fat grafting.  Dubbed the “two in one” operation, surgeons transfer a patient’s unwanted fat from areas such as the buttocks, thighs and stomach into the breast area.

So not only can you wear your heart on your sleeve, but now you can also wear your love handles on your chest!

The procedure will cost an estimated $13,000 when it becomes commercially available.  But, really, the looks on people’s faces when you tell them you have ass-boobs…?  Priceless.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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