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Mr. Candy’s List of Favorite Things


Mr. Candy’s List of Favorite Things

When I posted my list of favorite things, some of you asked if Mr. Candy could suggest his fave items for new babydaddies.  He’s been traveling like a fiend lately (fun for him AND me… ugh), so he asked me to be his not-so-secret ghostwriter, and even gave me pointers on the jokes he would like incorporated.  If I “forget” to include those jokes, well, consider yourselves lucky.


1.  Digital picture frame.  Mr. Candy misses the little one when he’s at the office, so he asked me Santa for one of these for Christmas.  We have one at home, and are endlessly entertained by the digital slide show.  (Simple minds and all.)  Note that some frames use LCD panels with fewer pixels than others. This means they can’t display as much detail as frames with higher resolutions, such as the Kodak EasyShare D830 8-inch digital frame with its 800 by 600 resolution (currently on sale at Amazon for $129.99).  I, er… I mean, Santa plans on taking the hint and loading up one of these puppies for Mr. Candy’s office with pictures of Skylar, the kitties and maybe even one of me  — even though I know I rate a distant fourth in the photo hierarchy.

No office?  No problem.  Get a nice digital photo keychain for $17.

2.  Oakley Sunglasses.  Mr. Candy says nothing made him feel older than having a kid, which is why he apparently went out and got a pair of sporty Oakley sunglasses — to make himself feel “young and cool” again.  A funny thing, considering when he told me he’d bought mirrored sunglasses, I was like, “Didn’t those go out of style fifteen years ago?”  Turns out, they look REALLY good on him.  [I’m supposed to inject a joke about how he recommends the mirrored lenses to men, so their wives won’t notice them checking out “the young hotties” — but, as you can imagine, that joke was met with *crickets* ’round here.]   I see a pair similar to Mr. Candy’s on for $120.  Young hotties not included.

3.   Diaper Dude Diaper Bag.  I’d bought one of these in black for Mr. Candy when I was pregnant with Miss Skye.  And he was all, “Couldn’t I just use YOUR diaper bag if I need one?”  And I was all, “No.  You cannot.”   And that was that.  I think he’s surprised how often this bag has come in handy since Skylar’s arrival.  It’s about as manly as a diaper bag’s gonna get.  Plus, lots o’ pockets for daddy-and-me Heinekens!  Awww.  Currently on sale for $53.10 with free shipping.

4.  Edge Wine.  This one gets the Candy AND Mr. Candy Seal of Drunken Approval.  We were introduced to Edge Wine on a Santa Barbara winery tour — even though it’s a Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon — and my, oh my, how we wished we’d bought several cases of it.  It is, as a refined sommelier would say, f*cking good.  Voted “Best Cabernet Sauvignon Under $20” by Food & Wine Magazine.

Let’s face it, if there’s one thing new parents should have, it’s alcohol.  Cheers!  $20/bottle.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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