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Review: Milking Nursing Pads for All They’re Worth


Review: Milking Nursing Pads for All They’re Worth

A couple weeks after giving birth to my gorgeous daughter, I strolled into Starbucks feeling rather good about myself.  Wearing a pre-pregnancy dress and high-heeled boots, I felt like — dare I say it? — a hot mama.  While I waited for my latte, I chatted with the barista about my baby and noticed that he was checking me out.  Wow.  I really MUST be looking good, I thought.

Until I got home and looked down… and realized that he wasn’t admiring me, but rather staring in horror at the fresh milk stains on my breasts.


I’ve had the mixed blessing of abundant milk production:  good for baby; not so good for me.  Determined not to give any more Starbucks baristas nightmares about my leaky boobs, I’ve tried out a number of different nursing pads and thought I’d share my experiences (for which I have not received any free product samples, by the way).

Gerber Ultra-Thin Nursing Pads:  Intrigued by the slightly cheaper price tag ($5.99) and the ultra-thinness (my lactating breasts do NOT need extra padding, if you know what I’m sayin’), I tried these pads first.  Unfortunately, ultra-thin meant, well, ultra-thin.  My milk floweth over.  Not very effective for this milk-“blessed” mama.

Glitzy Gals Washable Nursing Pads:   They’re pretty!  They’re reusable!  They’re… immediately soaked, uncomfortable and ineffective.  On the bright side, they make very cute coasters for my iced lattes.

Johnson’s Nursing Pads:  I’d asked my husband to pick up some nursing pads (bless his soul), and he grabbed a box of these — which has become my go-to nursing pad.  They’re bulkier, but worth it.  Super absorbent, they even hold back overnight floods of milk.  The nursing pad equivalent of the Aswan Dams, if you will.  Because of the small adhesive, they do move around sometimes.  Which is why I’ve become a fanatic about making sure they’re in place.  So, sure, I often look like I’m feeling myself up, but at least my shirt is dry.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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