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Mother of the Week Contender Supersizes Her Babies with McDonald’s Diet

Babies

Mother of the Week Contender Supersizes Her Babies with McDonald’s Diet

Blame Ronald McDonald

Ooohhh!  We have a Mother of the Week contender…

Introducing  Leanne Salt, a 420-pound British mom of eight-month-old triplets, who’s been feeding McDonald’s to her babies since they were six months old.

I’m no mommy expert yet, but aren’t you supposed to save the McNuggets for their seven-month birthday, followed by a bottle of Jack Daniels for their eight-month milestone?  That’s how my mama did it.

“They had chicken nuggets and chips, and loved it,” raves Leanne.  “They like fish and chips too, but I take the batter off the fish, so I guess that’s healthy.”

That’s true.  And if you suck the icing off cupcakes, they’re as healthy as broccoli!  At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.

The 24-year old, who blames her obesity on a thyroid problem (I’ll spare you my editorial commentary on that one), became pregnant after seeing her then-boyfriend for just four weeks.  Surprisingly, they have since split up.  So Leanne lives with her mother, wisely spending part of her government assistance on a 10-a-day cigarette habit.

Each of the 17-pound babies consumes around 1,300 calories a day, nearly double the recommended amount for their age.   But Leanne insists it’s all good:

“Babies are always hungry.  Sometimes it’s easier to give them food that’s already prepared. . . Anyway, they don’t always have junk food — sometimes I cook a microwave meal for them.  My babies are healthy.”

An average day’s menu for each of the babies:

5:30 a.m. — 8-oz. bottle of milk

8 a.m. — 8-oz. bottle of milk, plus a crumpet with butter

12 p.m. — Scrambled eggs on toast, instant mashed potatoes with spaghetti hoops (must be a British thing)

2 p.m. — A packet of Wotsits (ditto)

4 p.m. — A microwave lasagna or pie, which their mother chews so they can manage it (yes, she is part bird)

Bedtime — Another 8-oz. bottle of milk

We tried to reach her children’s arteries for comment, but they were too clogged to respond.

mom-triplets2

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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