If this is true, color me a little devastated: A tattoo model, clearly envious of the attention lavished on Tiger Woods’ mistresses, has revealed that she has been having an 11-month affair with Mr. Sandra Bullock, Jesse James.
Among the excruciatingly intimate details shared by Michelle “Bombshell” McGee (her given name, I’m sure):
- Jesse “gave Michelle the impression” that he and Sandra were separated.
- For weeks, while Sandra was in Atlanta shooting The Blind Side, Michelle and Jesse had sex at least once a week.
- Michelle called Jesse, who didn’t wear underwear or condoms — SMART! — by a special pet name, Vanilla Gorilla, because he was so “well-endowed.”
- In case you missed that: VANILLA GORILLA!
- Michelle met Jesse after she sent West Coast Choppers a Facebook friend request because she hoped to snag a modeling gig there. Jesse personally responded, inviting her to hang out at his place, which led to, um, “hanging out” on the couch.
- When Michelle asked him, ‘What’s going on with you and Sandra?’” Jesse was allegedly evasive. “He said, ‘She doesn’t live here. She has a house in Austin. She is filming, and I can’t talk about it.’”
The most recent development: Sandra has pulled out of the London premiere of The Blind Side. Translation: Jesse is likely in deep doo-doo.
Well, I can understand why Jesse would stray. It’s not like he’s married to a beautiful, smart, talented, successful, gracious wom — oh, wait.
FUN CHALLENGE OF THE DAY: Find a way to casually work “Vanilla Gorilla” into conversation!