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Deep Marital Doo-Doo Report: Jesse James Issues Public Apology to Sandra Bullock

Celebrities

Deep Marital Doo-Doo Report: Jesse James Issues Public Apology to Sandra Bullock

With Sandra Bullock pulling out of her London premiere and People reporting that she’d moved out of their home days ago, this comes as no surprise:  Jesse James has issued an apology — and tacit admission to the infidelity allegations — to his wife Sandra Bullock and his three children, taking full responsibility for his f*ck-up.

Oh, Jesse.

In a statement provided to People, the “Vanilla Gorilla” says:

“The vast majority of the allegations reported are untrue and unfounded. Beyond that, I will not dignify these private matters with any further public comment.

There is only one person to blame for this whole situation, and that is me. It’s because of my poor judgment that I deserve everything bad that is coming my way.

“This has caused my wife and kids pain and embarrassment beyond comprehension and I am extremely saddened to have brought this on them. I am truly very sorry for the grief I have caused them.  I hope one day they can find it in their hearts to forgive me.”

There.  All better now!

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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