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Toy Review: Norman PhartEphant Needs to Lay Off the Bean Burritos

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Toy Review: Norman PhartEphant Needs to Lay Off the Bean Burritos

Passing gas is not something that was ever done openly, or discussed openly, in my house while growing up.  Rather, it was done behind closed bathroom doors — OR something my dad did in his sleep, causing him to wake up with a start and look around for the loud and offending intruder:  “WHO?!  HUH?!  What WAS that?”  Which invariably made my mom and I burst into uncontrollable laughter.  Ah, good times.

The lesson being, accidental farts:  funny.  Purposeful farts:  not so much.

I’ve carried that important lesson with me all my life.  That, and my dad’s insistence that I change my car’s oil every 3,000 miles are indelibly burned in my brain.  Now that I have a baby, however, Mr. Candy and I talk about little BESIDES poop and gas.  Sort of hard to avoid when our child farts as though we have her on a curry-and-beer diet, and has even taken to grunting dramatically and LIFTING HER BUTT when doing so.

Of course, we think it’s absolutely precious.

This may explain why I think Norman PhartEphant — the soft, cute guy hanging out with Miss Skye up there — is sort of precious, too.  He was sent to me to check out by the creator, a woman who says her sons inspired the gassy toy.  I don’t often respond to product pitches, but the PhartEphant piqued my immaturity interest.  As you’ve likely guessed, Norman makes different farting noises when you squeeze his tail.  A symphony of toots, if you will.  It’s not an entirely crass toy, though — the elephant does apologize for his lack of, um, willpower; the creator also hopes parents will use the elephant as a springboard to “talk to their child about bodily functions.”

After they’re done laughing at the fart noises, that is.

Hopefully, Norman’s manners will rub off on my gassy eight-week-old daughter, who recently let ‘er rip when I went to kiss her chubby thigh.  Yes, IN MY FACE!  Without so much as an “Oops, my bad.”

Best of all, a portion of Norman’s sales are donated to children’s charities, including  Smile Train (providing free cleft surgery for children in developing countries ) and Half the Sky (helping orphaned children in China).

Available at various retail stores and the official PhartEphant Web site;$24.95.  Air freshener sold separately.

Now THAT’s phart-astic.  (You knew I couldn’t resist.)

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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