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Giving Whole New Meaning to the Term “Strong Swimmers”

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Giving Whole New Meaning to the Term “Strong Swimmers”

“Are YOU my baby daddy?”

WARNING!  TO ALL FEMALE TRAVELERS PLANNING A TRIP TO EGYPT, BE SURE TO PROTECT YOURSELVES IN A FULL-BODY CONDOM!  FUGITIVE SPERM ARE ON THE LOOSE AND LOOKING FOR UNSUSPECTING WOMEN TO IMPREGNATE.

Yes!  It’s true!  In fact, a woman is suing an Egyptian hotel claiming her daughter got pregnant — just from using the swimming pool.  Poor girl.  She must have been doing the, um, breast stroke.

Magdalena Kwiatkowska says her 13-year-old daughter returned from vacation expecting a baby, and believes the teen got knocked up from “stray sperm” after taking a dip in the hotel’s pool.  The Polish (no comments from the peanut gallery) mother is now — SURPRISE! — seeking compensation from the hotel.

A travel industry source said:

“The mother is adamant that her daughter didn’t meet any boys while she was there.  She is determined to go ahead with the case.”

In related news, denial is a river in Egypt.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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