Connect with us

The Laughing Stork

Man Jumps into River to Escape Wife’s Nagging

In the News

Man Jumps into River to Escape Wife’s Nagging

Till nagging about the toilet seat do us part…

Chinese ship crew members on the Yangtze River saw a man suddenly run out of his cabin, hands covering his ears, and shout:

“I can’t stand it any longer!”

They initially thought he was suffering from an ear injury and went to help him, but no…!  Turns out, he was unhurt.  Just tired of the pain in his ass…

“While we were still puzzling over the this, his wife ran up and continued nagging him,” said a crewmate.  “The husband covered his ears again and said ‘I need a break’ before jumping over the side into the rushing river” to escape his wife.

“We immediately found lamps to light up the water, but found nobody. The possibility of survival can be zero.”

However, later that night, police found the Chinese truck driver who had managed to swim more than a mile across across the broad river.  (I swear… the lengths men will go to to get out of taking out the trash!)

“I felt I was dying, but even that’s better than my wife’s nagging,” he reportedly told the police.

Awwww.  Pretty sure I’ve seen that on a Hallmark card somewhere.

The couple were reunited the following morning at the local police station where the man’s wife promised to give up her habit of nagging him.

And if THAT doesn’t happen, perhaps he should just invest in a good pair of earplugs.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

More in In the News

To Top