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Body Language Expert: Suri Cruise’s Moves Decoded!

Celebrity Spawn

Body Language Expert: Suri Cruise’s Moves Decoded!

A body language expert tells The Laughing Stork the true meaning behind Suri’s mysterious moves.

By forcefully leaning forward, “she’s indicating she would like to take the lead on an important project,” body language expert Dr. I. Lie Freely tells TLS.  “Given the look of consternation of her face, I would say she’s definitely thinking about taking the reins of the North Korean missile crisis, or possibly directing her pre-school’s finger puppet production.”

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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