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The Laughing Stork’s Celebrity DILF #17: Orlando Bloom


The Laughing Stork’s Celebrity DILF #17: Orlando Bloom

Orlando Jonathan Blanchard Bloom

Deets: 35 years old; born in Canterbury, England; actor

Family Low-Down: Has a one-year-old son, Flynn Christopher Blanchard Copeland Bloom, with wife Miranda Kerr

DILF-able Qualities:  If he has the stamina to call his son by his full name, that’s a good sign.

What we imagine Orlando’s O-face looks like:

“Oops.  Done.”

Celebrity DILF #18>>

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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