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The Laughing Stork’s Celebrity DILF #15: Ryan Phillippe


The Laughing Stork’s Celebrity DILF #15: Ryan Phillippe

Matthew Ryan Phillippe

Deets: 37 years old; born in New Castle, Delaware; actor

Family Low-Down: Has two children, Ava Gardner and Deacon Reese Phillippe, with ex-wife Reese Witherspoon, as well as a daughter, Kailani Merizalde Phillippe Knapp, with former fling Alexis Knapp

DILF-able Qualities: After saying his youngest daughter’s name several times, his tongue must be amazingly flexible

What we imagine Ryan’s O-face looks like:

Bring it, pretty boy!

Celebrity DILF #16>>

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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