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The Laughing Stork’s Celebrity DILF #11: Johnny Depp


The Laughing Stork’s Celebrity DILF #11: Johnny Depp

John Christopher Depp II

Deets: 48 years old; born in Owensboro, Kentucky; actor, screenwriter, director, producer, musician

Family Low-Down: Has two children, daughter Lily-Rose Melody and son John “Jack” Christopher Depp III, with partner Vanessa Paradis

DILF-able Qualities:  A master at role-playing

What we imagine Johnny’s O-face looks like:

Oh, you KNOW he totally does this.

Celebrity DILF #12>>

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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