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Candy’s TGIF Piña Colada

Candy's Column

Candy’s TGIF Piña Colada

Is this post too late for a proper TGIF toast?  You betcha!  My apologies… how ’bout we just call it a TGINT (Thank God It’s Not Thursday) drink then, because yesterday really bit the big one for me. To erase the memory of Thursday’s technological woes, I was going to find a potent drink that contained everything but the kitchen sink.  But alas… the mommy in me realized that might not be the best idea in the world (I’m going to wait till the kid is 2 years old to start doing that, so she is at least able to drive herself to the hospital, if need be).  Which is why I instead decided to go to my (not-as-tipsy) Happy Place — my mental tropical island — with a tropical-y Piña Colada.



  • 2 oz. Malibu Rum (or light rum)
  • 4 oz. Pineapple juice
  • One cup crushed ice
  • Two small scoops of coconut cream (Wondering where such a thing would be in your grocery store?  Well, I can tell you after 40 minutes of aimlessly wandering around MY grocery store and being directed to multiple wrong aisles, that it is in the COCKTAIL MIXER aisle.  Huh.  Whowouldathunkit?)

This is what coconut cream looks like.  Not at all what I was expecting — much like seeing Johnny Depp in person.


Mix all ingredients in a blender until smooth — or until your cats have reached the upstairs bedroom, their ears back, after running away from the loud blender.  Pour into a tall glass and garnish with a pineapple slice, cherry, that rotting apple in the back of the fridge you forgot to throw away — basically, whatever you have lying around.

I thought this drink deserved to lounge outside and enjoy the warm Southern California weather.  Have a good weekend, everyone.  Time for me to whip up a couple more of these for Mr. Candy and me, and head to my Happy Place…

PS — The site may be doing some funky things this weekend because I’ll be in the process of changing site hosts.  So please bear with us and our funkiness. Thank you!

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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