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Parenting Site Forced to Censor ‘Pornographic’ Questions from, Um, Curious Moms

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Parenting Site Forced to Censor ‘Pornographic’ Questions from, Um, Curious Moms

Despite his authentic appearance, this man has no connection to seafaring folk

A popular British parenting site and forum called Mumsnet is getting called out for being oh-so-naughty after moms started posting fewer questions about proper pooping schedules and more (very graphic) requests for sex advice.   In fact, site publishers — mothers themselves — have been forced to delete dozens of “highly explicit” messages posted on the discussion boards after they were deemed pornographic.

That’s terrible!  Just terrible!  Um… where can I find this site again?  (You know, just to make sure they’re properly policing the site.  *Ahem*)

The best part of this story:  A quote from one member who revealed that her man likes making pirate noises during sex.  She wrote:

“Recently he has begun to put on a strange voice during sex – for example ‘Arr, matey.’  The other one is ‘Arr, the ship’s a-dockin’. and ‘My lighthouse is tingling.’  He is not a sailor by the way, and has no connection to seafaring folk.

Just wondering if I can say how uncomfortable this is making me feel.  It’s just weird, but it seems to be turning him on.”

One contributor suggested that the woman should offer to perform a “fantastic” sex act on her partner on condition that he then stopped being a pirate.

Or just give up your pirate’s booty, lady!

And, really — “My lighthouse is tingling”?  How can one NOT be turned on by that?

With thanks to Laughing Stork friend, Mark, for the story tip.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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