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Candy’s TGIF Caribbean Screwdriver

Candy's Column

Candy’s TGIF Caribbean Screwdriver

The weather has been summery and gorgeous here in L.A. — and many other parts of the country — this week, putting me in the mood for a fruity, tropical drink.  It’s also inspired me to wear sandals and forced me to LOOK at my toenails, which have been blissfully hiding in boots all winter long, and realize the pedicure I got six months ago ain’t lookin’ so hot anymore. (I know!  ONLY six months ago!  They just don’t make pedicures like they used to, do they?)

Hopefully, after enough of this week’s fruity TGIF drink — the Caribbean Screwdriver — I’ll get “toe goggles” and my pedicure will miraculously look beautiful again.



1 oz.  Peach Schnapps

1 oz.  Crème de Bananes

1 oz.  Malibu Coconut Rum  (Mr. Candy recommends using TWO ounces, because the lush thought it could be “a little stronger”… this is why I love him)

4 oz.  Orange Juice

2 oz.  Pineapple Juice

2 oz.  Cream  (I used two percent milk as a substitute, ’cause that’s the kind of health-conscious person I am.  *Ahem*  It worked just as well as cream, in my not-so-humble opinion.)


Mix and shake ingredients in a shaker glass with ice.  Strain the mixture into a tall glass (being classy and all, I just used one of our everyday glasses) filled with ice.  Garnish with a cherry or strawberry if you’re feeling fancy-schmancy.  Or if you’re looking to get rid of the rotting strawberries in your fridge, like I was.

This drink's future in our household is so bright, it's gotta wear shades.

And if you’re not experiencing summer-like weather in your part of the world…?  Might I suggest making one of these bad boys, cranking up the heat and kicking back as you imagine lounging on the white shores of St. Thomas?

Yeah, I think I’m going to do that, anyway.  Ahhhhhhh.

The verdict:  “This may be my new favorite drink,” gasped Mr. Candy, an unabashed Fruity Drink Lover, as I allowed him to take one TINY sip of my Caribbean Screwdriver.

Marcy and I finished the rest.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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