Connect with us

The Laughing Stork

Mario Lopez is Trading in His Tight Shirts for Dad Jeans

Celebrities

Mario Lopez is Trading in His Tight Shirts for Dad Jeans

Mario Lopez, who has one of the most outgoing penises in Hollywood, is expecting his first child in the fall with girlfriend Courtney Mazza.

“I’m really excited. I’m happy. I can’t wait to be a dad,” A.C. Slater tells PEOPLE.

Mario, 36, and actress Courtney Mazza, 28, met in 2008 when the cheesy Extra host starred in A Chorus Line on Broadway.  As you may remember, Mario was once married to Doritos hottie Ali Landry, who divorced his cheating behind after only two weeks, then he romanced Dancing with the Stars partner Karina Smirnoff, who broke up with his cheating behind after two years of dating.

Stellar relationship history aside, Mario claims he’s totally ready to be a daddy.

“I grew up in a large family,” Mario says.  “I’m fired up!  I don’t know what we’re having.  I’m going to wait to see [the baby’s gender] so it will be a surprise.”

He should totally entertain the kid by reciting old Saved by the Bell dialogue:

JESSIE:  You macho pig.
SLATER:  Oink oink, baby.

Like Shakespeare.  Only deeper.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
Share on Facebook
Facebook
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter
Pin on Pinterest
Pinterest

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

More in Celebrities

To Top