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Lindsay Lohan Sues E-Trade for $100M Over “Milkaholic” Baby Ad


Lindsay Lohan Sues E-Trade for $100M Over “Milkaholic” Baby Ad

With Lindsay Lohan’s acting career being, er, stalled, she has decided to pursue a new source of revenue:  a truly stupid lawsuit.

LiLo is suing the financial company E-Trade for $100 million (!), insisting that a boyfriend-stealing, “milkaholic” baby — who happens to be named Lindsay — featured in its latest commercial was modeled after her.

I have considered suing E-Trade, myself, for inflicting emotional distress with those creepy talking babies who HAUNT me.  But Lindsay’s lawsuit…?   Just silly.

Lindsay’s lawyer claims the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna.  Only Lindsay is a slightly more common name.  And Oprah and Madonna are slightly more iconic.  Just slightly.

“Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit,” Lindsay’s ambulance chaser said.

A spokesman for the responsible ad agency is throwing cold milk (ha, haaaaaa!) on the controversy, saying it “just used a popular baby name that happened to be the name of someone on the account team.”

Not to mention nobody would ever associate Lindsay Lohan with something youthful these days.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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