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Octomom Unveils Bikini Body, Claims No Plastic Surgery


Octomom Unveils Bikini Body, Claims No Plastic Surgery

Nadya Suleman, 34, is celebrating her octuplets’ one-year birthday as any caring mother would:  by posing in a bikini on the cover of Star Magazine.

Yup, it’s the requisite “MY NEW BIKINI BODY”/”HOW I GOT MY BODY BACK” story!

She claims she has had no surgery and lost the weight with exercise.  Which obviously includes running (off at the mouth to the media).  And let me guess:  she lost the stretch marks with cocoa butter!  Cocoa butter sprinkled with a little bit of magic.

“I would feel like I cheated,” she tells Star of eschewing surgery.  “I wanted to prove to myself that I can do it on my own, naturally. My friends call me Rubber Band because I always snapped back so quickly after my other kids!”

Well, she may not have gone under the knife, but she has sure been under one hell of a BRUSH.  An airbrush the size of Texas, that is.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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