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“Octomom: The Incredible Unseen Footage”: Incredibly Cringe-Worthy


“Octomom: The Incredible Unseen Footage”: Incredibly Cringe-Worthy

OctoMomEmbarrassing confession… I watched part of “Octomom:  The Incredible Unseen Footage” last night, and I have only one person to blame for my transgression:  the baby.

You see, the in-laws are visiting and I, not comfortable whipping out my boob in front of company and not sure how I feel about using something called a “Hooter Hider,” run to our bedroom every time I have to feed Miss Skye.   And the TV in the bedroom just happened to be tuned into this trainwreck of a documentary during a particularly long feeding frenzy.

Yes!  It was a coincidence!  *AHEM*

The show made me ill.  The show made me cringe.  The show reeled me in against my better judgment.  Even Skye was looking up at me like, “Are you seriously watching this garbage, woman?”

The more Nadya tried to appear like a normal, caring mother, the more her score on the nuts-o-meter climbed.  I think Nady’s two-year-old described her best:  “BITCH!”

Did you guys see that?  The two-year-old calling her a “bitch” and smacking her and kicking the babies, that is…?  So.  Sad.  And when she gleefully “complained” about the paparazzi rushing her car and asked rhetorically, all full of self-importance:  “What am I, the president?”

Yup!  You are!  The president of Crazyville.

I hope for your sake you have better taste than I, and were watching something more classy — like porn.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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