Connect with us

The Laughing Stork

Move Over, Jenny Craig: Some Tout Breastfeeding as Weight Loss Plan for Mothers

Fitness

Move Over, Jenny Craig: Some Tout Breastfeeding as Weight Loss Plan for Mothers

There’s a new article in The New York Times discussing the calorie-burning benefits of breastfeeding.  (Yup!  It’s time to talk boobs again.)

Apparently, some women think it’s all wishful thinking, that breastfeeding does NOT help new moms lose weight (although some studies would suggest otherwise) — while others feel guilty and selfish admitting that part of the reason they even decided to breastfeed was to get back in their hot pants.

I feel neither guilty nor selfish letting you know I love, love, LOVE that I can currently eat two ice cream sandwiches without them ending up on my thighs.  Okay, you’re right, I’m lying — I often eat three at a time.  And it’s awesome.  I was never one of those lucky bitches blessed with a high metabolism, so I’m gonna eat this up while I can!  Literally.

Of course, common sense dictates that if you gained sixty pounds during pregnancy, breastfeeding alone is not going to make all that weight melt away.  It may burn 500-600 calories a day, but it also will not give you Jennifer Aniston’s abs.  Those abs require something of which I’m not fond, something called work.  (Ick.)

All I can tell you is, based on my experience, I was fortunate enough to lose the baby weight within a month.  This was a result of gaining 21 pounds throughout my pregnancy, losing 15 of them the first week, and burning off the remaining six pounds with daily walking and, yes, breastfeeding.  When I saw how quickly the baby poundage came off, I got really excited, thinking that I would drop below my pre-pregnancy weight, but alas… my weight has plateaued, thanks to that darn ice cream sandwich habit (fueled by breastfeeding, which makes me RAVENOUS).  That’s okay.  Mama needs her chocolate fix more than skinny jeans.

While I’m sharing my experience with you, I should also note that I always look as glamorous as that woman in the picture when breastfeeding.  Yes!  Always!  Only I prefer to wear fishnets and fix my hair in a chignon for feedings.  Naturally.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
Share on Facebook
Facebook
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter
Pin on Pinterest
Pinterest

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

More in Fitness

To Top