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No Time for Treadmill? No College Diploma for You!


No Time for Treadmill? No College Diploma for You!

College isn’t generally known as a healthy time — hell, I was closer to the Papa John’s Pizza delivery guy than my own family when I was a student — so Lincoln University in Pennsylvania is trying to combat that issue by forcing “obese” students (with a body mass index of 30 or above) to take a fitness course in order to graduate.

I know, I know, I’m thinking the same thing:  This cannot be a good sign for the pizza business.

The course meets three hours per week.   Here’s the kicker:  Those who are assigned to the class but do not complete it cannot graduate.  Now that the first class to have this requirement imposed is nearing graduation day — students who entered in the fall of 2006 — the school faces criticism from both students and outsiders about the fitness class policy.

One of those students is Tiana Lawson, 21, whose recent editorial in the student paper has drawn national attention to the issue. Lawson wrote in The Lincolnian that she would be more understanding if the requirement applied to everyone.  She thinks all students, not just those with a high BMI, should have to take the class.  Damn straight.

*SIGH*  I miss the old days when college wasn’t about encouraging a healthy lifestyle, but rather about drinking as much beer as you can and getting a hundred-thousand-dollar Political Science degree you’ll never use.  Now that’s what higher learning should be about.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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