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Jon Gosselin Declares World War III!

Celebrities

Jon Gosselin Declares World War III!

DILF (Dad I’d Like to Fart on) Jon Gosselin told Entertainment Tonight that his twins’ ninth birthday party could “turn into World War III” because Kate won’t let him join the party, but he still insists on being there.

He whined (It’s the twins’ party, and he’ll whine if he wants to!):

“She’s basically saying it would be too stressful to the kids to have both of us here, like we originally planned.  I’m just going to stay! I own the house, so I can do what I want.  She’s trying to prevent me from seeing my kids on their birthday because she doesn’t want to see me.  She doesn’t want to hear my apology.  She doesn’t want to work things out.”

Nobody wants to see you anymore, Jon.  But, alas, he went — and invited the Entertainment Tonight camera crew to tag along!  Naturally.  Because, you know, he’s a caring father who doesn’t want to exploit his children on TV.

So far, ET reveals in a BREAKING NEWS report that the two were at the party together, but not speaking.  And that Jon gave Mady a laptop, while he bestowed daughter Cara with an ATV — presumably with the money he stole from his joint bank account with Kate.  Awwww.

Still no word on whether there were any casualties of WWIII, such as the cockatoo on Kate’s head.

For funsies, here’s Nancy Grace ripping Jon and his CZ earrings a new one on The Insider.  I have never been a big fan of Nancy’s, but this is pretty freakin’ hot:

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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