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Who Needs Car Seats When We’ve Got Coors Light?

In the News

Who Needs Car Seats When We’ve Got Coors Light?

A band of merry alcohol smugglers in Australia have been busted for making children sleep on beer in an effort to conceal the contraband in their cars.

Police were searching cars they believed were on their way to remote Aboriginal communities where liquor is banned — which may be the REAL travesty of this story — when they found the unrestrained children unwittingly hiding the goods.

I feel terrible for the kids, but am intrigued by this new kind of Robin Hood:  taking from the drunk to give to the alcohol-poor!

During a search they found a young, unrestrained child sleeping on top of a case of beer in the backseat.  Meanwhile, a search of another car revealed a child sitting on top of a beer carton that had been covered by a blanket.

Fosters:  Australian for “car seat.”

Sergeant Conan Robertson says both children were put in unsafe situations.

“The hope has got to be that people realize that the value [of] their child is far higher than a carton of beer,” he said.

I’ll drink to that!

Last year, the same neighborhood attracted international attention after police caught a driver who had put a seatbelt around a beer carton, but left a child unrestrained.

Suddenly, I’m feeling like a much better parent.  I always restrain my baby AND my six-packs.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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