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Mature Parents Alert: Anne Heche Calls Ex-Hubby “Lazy Ass” on National Television

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Mature Parents Alert: Anne Heche Calls Ex-Hubby “Lazy Ass” on National Television

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Anne Heche, aka Celestia, Empress of Planet Cuckoo, maturely trashed her ex-husband Coley Laffoon on Letterman the other night.  Which is particularly sweet, considering she’s the one who had a very public affair with former co-star and current baby daddy James Tupper.

So, yeah, after making fun of her ex-husband’s plans to coach soccer — what a loser! — the Empress talked about the child support she has to pay Laffoon, $3,700 a month:

“He goes out to the mailbox and he opens up the little mailbox door and goes, ‘Oh! I got a check from Anne! Oh! I got a check from Anne! Yay!'”

Hey, the guy deserves SOMETHING for putting up with her crazy ass.  Not to mention being saddled with a name like LAFFOON.

Coley handled her attack by taking the high road…. No!  I kid!  He issued his response via — who else? — Us Weekly, saying:

“After coming home from showing two different clients two different condominiums, I was disturbed to see Anne taking out her personal frustration on the father of her child on national television.”

I love that he weaseled in a way to mention how very hard he was working:  Two different clients!  And TWO different condominiums!

And two different crazy parents for poor Homer.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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