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The Olive Garden: Now with unlimited salad, breadsticks AND a free beat-down!

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The Olive Garden: Now with unlimited salad, breadsticks AND a free beat-down!

Not as sweet as he looks

A man, who must have been irritable after stuffing himself with a plate full of five-cheese ziti, was arrested after attacking another man at an Olive Garden in — where else? — Florida.

Apparently, 36-year-old Paul Blankfield was not pleased about some noisy kids at a nearby table.  Instead of handling the situation constructively and simply throwing breadsticks at the backs of their heads, Pauly confronted their father and, um, punched him in the neck.

The Olive Garden:  “When you’re here, you’re dysfunctional family.”

Police say ol’ Paul told them he did this because the man’s autistic child had disturbed his dining experience.

Seems like a reasonable way to handle the situation.  Next time the Olive Garden skimps on the croutons in my salad, I’m going to kick the server in the shin!

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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