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Happy Vasectomy Day!

Family & Parenting Humor

Happy Vasectomy Day!

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If men are known for one thing, it’s their high pain tolerance.  No!  I kid!  As I was bowled over in pain yesterday from MY PELVIS SOFTENING AND SPREADING SO A BOWLING BALL-SIZED HUMAN CAN POP OUT OF THERE, Mr. Candy emerged from the bathroom, dramatically clutching his hand.

“I cut my finger on the toothbrush!  Quick — get me a Band-Aid!” he cried.

You don’t even want to know how this occurred.  Or how long he pouted.  But suffice it to say his face looked something like this (sans kick-ass sombrero):

Yes, yes, that is indeed a cake celebrating the Big Snip!  How awesome is that?  Chock full of Vicodin, with a side of chopped nuts.  Not sure to where Ted’s running in that get-up, though — perhaps to Mexico for “extra-strength” pain meds?

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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