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The Laughing Stork

Storktionary: Momory

"Well, THAT wasn't so bad!" Candy thought, based on her "momory" of childbirth, despite having the shakes for four hours after delivery and a burning vagina for weeks to come

Function: Noun

1. A mom’s selective memory of the child-birthing and -rearing experiences.

a. In retrospect, the momory of labor and delivery, and the sleepless nights with a screaming baby, are not as bad as they were in reality.

b. The momory allows a mom to quickly forget how much it sucked when her baby had a cold and ear infection while her husband was on a business trip, and she did not sleep for an entire week. (“You’re saying I sobbed and said that was the worst week ever and that I never EVER wanted to have a child again in a million years and that I wanted to divorce you on grounds of abandonment? Really? Huh. I don’t remember that at all. All I know is… I GOT A BABY HUG TODAY! I LOVE BEING A MOM!”)

c. Oftentimes momories of these experiences become increasingly pleasant as a mom’s desire for another baby grows. (i.e., “Awwww, look at your baby! I miss having a newborn sleep on my chest. You know, now that I think about it, pushing out a ten-pound baby actually felt FINE! Maybe I should have another one?”)

d. The momory is deemed necessary for continued reproduction and the existence of the human race; otherwise, no sane woman would EVER give birth again.

Syn.: Repression; denial

More Storktionary parenting terms…

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