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WOMAN VS. FAMILY follows Candy, a woman who ventures into the jungles of parenthood, armed only with leaky sippy cups and a vague notion of how to turn a beer keg into a diaper genie. Despite lacking the “Super Mom” gene, Candy somehow lands a sweet job vlogging about parenting and tries to manage the chaos that ensues with one husband, two kids, two cats and zero recollection of what day it is.
NAME: Candy (Also known as “Mom/Mommy” and “That Woman Who Burns Our Macaroni”)
BIO: Former soap opera writer and keg stand champion-turned-mother of two and vlogger
KEY QUOTE: “All I want for my birthday is two minutes to pee by myself.”
NAME: Ted (Also known as “Dad/Daddy” and “The Man Who Can Sleep Through ANYTHING”)
BIO: Management consultant who is able to tell Fortune 50 companies how to boost their P&L, yet isn’t able to tell the difference between a diaper cover and a baby hat
KEY QUOTE: “‘Some assembly required’ are the three cruelest words in the English language.”
NAME: Charlotte (Also known as “Sweetie,” “Baby Girl” and “The Moody One”)
BIO: Three-year-old who enjoys playing with puzzles, dancing and proclaiming ownership over most everything that crosses her path. Or comes within a 100-mile radius of her path.
KEY QUOTE: “MINE!”
NAME: Jay (Also known as “Buddy,” “Baby Boy” and “The Terror”)
BIO: Eleven-month-old who likes babbling, throwing things and putting cat food in his mouth
KEY QUOTE: “Da-da-uuuhhh.”
NAME: Chuckles & Winston (Also known as “The Cats” and “The Former Rulers of the House”)
BIO: Smart-ass kitties embittered about becoming second-class citizens since the kids arrived
KEY QUOTE: “Humans who choose to procreate are masochistic individuals who are basically asking to have their new leather chair scratched. We’re just sayin’.”