Let’s Chat About Celebrity Family Gossip, Shall We?

I kicked off my Monday with a 5:45 a.m. wake-up call from Drew, who somehow had poop smeared down his leg and up his back, yet very little on his actual BUTT — this was after waking up with him at 12 a.m. and 2 a.m., mind you — followed by a parking ticket outside daycare for being parked in a street cleaning zone one minute too long.  I am, like, not even exaggerating.

Yay for Mondays!

I would start drinking if only I didn’t have to pick up the kids this afternoon (the daycare frowns upon moms whose breath smells like appletinis…SO uptight), so I am going to drown my sorrows in another guilty pleasure instead:  celebrity gossip.  Let’s chat about the latest famous family news, shall we?

I opened my Us Weekly daily e-newsletter to receive some VERY important news: Vanessa Minnillo is 12 weeks pregnant and, according to Nick, craving burritos.  Knowing these guys, a pregnancy sponsorship by Taco Bell can’t be far behind.

Speaking of Us Weekly…

They’ve sunk to a new low.  Somewhere in their offices, they’re brainstorming their next poll:  WHOSE ASS IS BIGGER?  SURI’S OR VIOLET’S?

Vivienne Jolie-Pitt, 3, wore red lipstick and gold lame pants to the movies.  Which, I think we can all agree, should become the standard movie-watching uniform for everyone.  I think I love this kid.

The fact that Beyonce breastfed Blue Ivy in public continues to make headlines.  All the Nursing Ladies/All the Nursing Ladies/Now Pull Your Shirts Up!

Snooki is engaged and pregnant, giving whole new meaning to the “Snooki Bump.”