I kicked off my Monday with a 5:45 a.m. wake-up call from Drew, who somehow had poop smeared down his leg and up his back, yet very little on his actual BUTT — this was after waking up with him at 12 a.m. and 2 a.m., mind you — followed by a parking ticket outside daycare for being parked in a street cleaning zone one minute too long. I am, like, not even exaggerating.
Yay for Mondays!
I would start drinking if only I didn’t have to pick up the kids this afternoon (the daycare frowns upon moms whose breath smells like appletinis…SO uptight), so I am going to drown my sorrows in another guilty pleasure instead: celebrity gossip. Let’s chat about the latest famous family news, shall we?
I opened my Us Weekly daily e-newsletter to receive some VERY important news: Vanessa Minnillo is 12 weeks pregnant and, according to Nick, craving burritos. Knowing these guys, a pregnancy sponsorship by Taco Bell can’t be far behind.
Speaking of Us Weekly…
They’ve sunk to a new low. Somewhere in their offices, they’re brainstorming their next poll: WHOSE ASS IS BIGGER? SURI’S OR VIOLET’S?
Vivienne Jolie-Pitt, 3, wore red lipstick and gold lame pants to the movies. Which, I think we can all agree, should become the standard movie-watching uniform for everyone. I think I love this kid.
The fact that Beyonce breastfed Blue Ivy in public continues to make headlines. All the Nursing Ladies/All the Nursing Ladies/Now Pull Your Shirts Up!
Snooki is engaged and pregnant, giving whole new meaning to the “Snooki Bump.”