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Toddlers and Tiaras’ Clip of the Day: “I Ain’t Never Seen Shirley Temple Like That Before!”

Television

Toddlers and Tiaras’ Clip of the Day: “I Ain’t Never Seen Shirley Temple Like That Before!”

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Pint-sized hopefuls — and their completely sane moms — vied for a $10,000 prize (yeah, count those zeros again) at the Universal Royalty Hollywood pageant on last night’s Toddlers & Tiaras, with the big bucks bringing out an extra dose of crazy for our entertainment-slash-horror.

Behold the Battle of Shirley Temples, in which Mia’s mom (who is also convinced the pageant director is sabotaging her daughter) fumes over another little girl’s attention-grabbing interpretation that includes less “Good Ship Lollipop,” more “HOLY COW, THAT KID IS DROPPIN’ IT LIKE IT’S HOT.”

I suppose we should just be grateful Kayla’s mom didn’t teach her how to “work” that lollipop, too.

Great, now I’ve given them an idea for the next pageant. Darn! I was feel stupid.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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