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Breaking: Married Women Just Not That Into Sex

In the News

Breaking: Married Women Just Not That Into Sex

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A stunning and shocking and totally surprising study says that married women would rather read, watch a movie or sleep than have sex.

It really is shocking… that “surf the Internet” wasn’t also on the list of preferred pastimes.

Two thousand American wives between the ages of 18 and 49 were surveyed about their sex lives by iVillage.   Oddly, 77 percent reported being “somewhat to extremely happy” with their sex life, BUT… 63 percent of them would still rather do just about anything else than have sexy time with their spouse.  Which must mean they are “extremely happy” with the sex, as long as they only have to have it annually.

I said ANNUALLY.  As in once a year.  Get your minds out of the gutter, people!

The survey also featured news that’s not all bad news for hubbies:   More than half of the women surveyed reported that they are married to “the best sex of their lives.”  The best… but not as good as “Confessions of a Shopaholic,” apparently.

We tried to reach the husbands for comment, but they were too busy frustratedly browsing online porn to respond.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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