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Breaking Medical News: Wife Drills into Husband’s Pecker

In the News

Breaking Medical News: Wife Drills into Husband’s Pecker

A woman who was a teensy bit unhappy with her husband after he spent a week’s salary on liquor — hey, appletinis ain’t cheap! — decided to maturely teach him a lesson in finances by drilling a hole into his penis.

Presumably, she used a drill by Black and Pecker.

A horrified Andrei Karaj told cops he was asleep on the sofa when he was awakened by an agonizing pain — and a breeze through his willy — at which point, he saw his wife standing over him with a power drill at their home in Russia.

The 25-year-old said:  “I felt amazing pain and there she was with the drill.  I had just enough strength to call the paramedics before I passed out.”

It’s Tool Time!

A team of doctors stitched the gaping wound back together during a delicate three-hour operation.  Plumbers are on stand-by in case it starts to sprink a leak.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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