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What I Learned from the ‘Monsters vs. Aliens’ Advance Screening at Universal City


What I Learned from the ‘Monsters vs. Aliens’ Advance Screening at Universal City


1.  The gentleman behind me is clearly impressed by the way I rock a pair of 3D glasses.

2.  Never wear your non-maternity, tight-fitting jeans to a two-hour movie when you’re almost five months pregnant — because apparently people frown upon you unbuttoning your pants in a children’s theater.  (People can be so uptight.)


3a.    Free popcorn + free soda = automatic glowing review from Candy.  Well-played, PR man.  Well-played, indeed.

3b.  I am not evolved enough to stop chowing down on popcorn even when my stomach begins to ache.   Because, you know, it’s FREE!  MUST EAT!  (Note to self: Bring the Pepto to next movie screening.)

4.  I am, however, still immature enough to try to grab the computer-generated 3D objects flying towards me.

5.  Contrary to what I learned in Intergalactic Relations class in college, playing Axel F on the keyboard is NOT an effective negotiation tactic with world-destroying aliens.

6.  Xenu actually does not have a cameo in this movie.  Sorry, Tom Cruise.

Career Opportunity

7.  Tyra Banks could definitely have a successful career in movies.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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