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Candy’s Strawberry Shortcake Martini

Mama Needs a Drink (Recipes)

Candy’s Strawberry Shortcake Martini

Originally posted on August 20, 2010

If you heard a disturbingly loud moan coming from the Western part of the nation this afternoon, it was probably me after sampling this week’s drink.  Yes, perhaps I become too intimately involved with my cocktails, but…

Oh.  Dear.  Lord.  This is a good one.

And, boy, do I ever need it.  It’s been one of Those Weeks.  You know about Those Weeks.  This week was marked with a fussy, feverish baby whose immune system was fighting off the effects of the MMR vaccine — yeah, the poor thing could probably use a cocktail, too, but Cheerios will have to suffice — and who has entered the ol’ “separation anxiety” phase, refusing to leave my side for even one second.  If I so much as think about going to the bathroom by myself, she SCREEEAAAMS.

*SIGH*  What is it with chicks always wanting to go to the bathroom with other chicks?  This is why I de-sisterized from my college sorority.

And here is why I joined a sorority in the first place:  access to good alcohol.



  • 1.25 oz. Stoli Strasberi (which I could not find, so I used Strawberry Smirnoff instead)
  • 1.25 oz. Chambord
  • 1.25 oz. Baileys
  • A dash of cream (for which I substituted Skye’s whole milk… hey, it’s not like she needs the calcium, right?)
  • Strawberries
  • Graham Crackers


Shake all (liquid) ingredients with ice.  Strain into a martini glass.  Instead of graham crackers, I bought a graham cracker crust and used a peeler along the edges, which yielded the same result as crushing it — then rimmed the glass with the crust.  I may or may not have also stuck my finger in that crushed crust and licked it off like a five-year-old.  Garnish the glass with a strawberry and…

… Sneak into a bathroom by yourself, quickly close the door behind you, oh-so-leisurely sip your drink, and ignore your toddler’s cries outside the door.  Happy TGIF.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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