10 Signs You Have a ‘Scandal’ Addiction Problem

“Don’t look now, but those people staring at us..? They have a problem.”

I recently made the mistake of starting to watch Scandal on Netflix. As a result, I abandoned my children, husband, work and general hygiene in favor of being glued to my iPad.

But it was SO worth it.

And now that I’m caught up, I thought I’d create a helpful list in anticipation of the show’s return on February 27 — a list that helps you determine if you have a li’l Scandal addiction problem, too. Here are 10 tell-tale signs:

10. You growl at your toddler that he HAS to learn how to pee in the potty because he is a GLADIATOR, dammit!

9. You would give your life for one of Olivia’s white coats.

8. Before sharing the secret to your famous chocolate chip cookies, you sweep your house for bugs.

7. You can’t even LOOK at a power drill without clutching your genitals anymore.

6. All sexual encounters must be conducted in a closet or on the Oval Office desk.

5. When your husband spills beer on the new sofa, you cry, “WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?!”

4. Before you fix the time on your parents’ microwave, you put on a white hat.

3. Accidentally double-booked two important work meetings? No problem. YOU CAN FIX THIS. YOU’RE A FIXER.

2. When the automated phone system tell you that you are out of options, you retort, “I am NEVER out of options!”

1. You find yourself creepily staring at people through conference room windows.