If Dr. Seuss Wrote a Book About Karl Lagerfeld

Chanel’s infamous head designer and creative director, Karl Lagerfeld, doesn’t exactly hold back his less-than-positive opinions when chatting with reporters.  Which led us to wonder…what might Dr. Seuss write about Karl’s ideas?

You do not like
round girls and ham?

I do not
like them,
reporter-I-am.

Could you, would you,
like Adele?

I would not,
could not
like Adele!

Would you, could you,
like children as well?

I could not, would not, like Adele.
I will not, will not, like children as well.
I do not like meat or rice
I do not think Pippa’s face will suffice
Out with florals! Out with the phone!
Short, ugly men are the worst. They must leave me alone!
I do not like Michelle Obama’s bangs.
I do not like a woman’s figure that hangs.
I will not eat sugar, cheese or bread.
I do not think gay people should be wed.
I do not like to travel here or there.
I do not like disgusting Greek people ANYWHERE!