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Top 10 Best Things About Having Charlie Sheen as a Grandfather


Top 10 Best Things About Having Charlie Sheen as a Grandfather

charliesheenYes, that’s right — Charlie Sheen is becoming a GRANDFATHER, people.  As the 47-year-old porn star collector and father of 28-year-old mom-to-be, Cassandra, told David Letterman last night: “Me as a grandfather, Dave…I don’t know. It’s like the world’s going to crack in half.  It’s fabulous. It’s just not a title I’m ready to adopt.”

Well, perhaps we can get Charlie a little more jazzed about being Grandpa Charlie with our list:

The Top 10 Best Things About Having Charlie Sheen as Your Grandfather

10. He always has young, flexible ladies on-hand to help entertain and babysit.

9.  He has delightful child-like qualities.  For example, he has admitted to possessing “the boogers of a 7-year-old.”

8.  When you get in trouble for misbehaving, you can always retort:  “At least I’m not as bad as GRANDPA CHARLIE!”

7.  He’s fluent in toddler-like babbling.

6.  Easy to find him during games of Hide-and-Seek in his usual “hiding” spot:  passed out under the dining room table.

5.  He often has contents of Pixy Stix available on his coffee table!  Oh, wait —

4. When you spill juice on his furniture, he’ll just shrug:  “Don’t worry, kid.  There have been WAY worse stains on this sofa, believe you me.”

3.  When you’re a teenager and come home reeking of your own cigarette smoke, you can just say you were at Grandpa Charlie’s.

2.  Best.  Birthday.  Parties.  EVER.

1.  Hey, better to have him as your grandfather than your father.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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