Connect with us

The Laughing Stork

Father of the Week So Far: Kelsey Grammer Takes Three-Month-Old Baby Girl to Playboy Mansion Party

Celebrities

Father of the Week So Far: Kelsey Grammer Takes Three-Month-Old Baby Girl to Playboy Mansion Party

New father Kelsey Grammer apparently knows all about the 5 S’s:  swaddle; shush; swing; suck; and, of course, SEX IT UP!  Which explains why he brought his three-month-old daughter, Faith, to the rockin’ (and typically clothing-optional) Halloween bash at the Playboy Mansion this weekend, prompting one Playmate to Tweet: “Why the fk does Kelsey Grammer have a newborn baby at the Mansion party!?!?!?”

Hey, simmer down, lady.  It’s not like the poor guy has millions upon millions in the bank and can afford a nanny to look after — huh.  Never mind.

It really is cruel to bring an infant to a Playboy party.  To be surrounded by all of those ginormous milk dispensers, yet not a single tap there works…?  Cruel, cruel, indeed.

A party-goer tells TMZ that Kelsey was “whooping it up at a table next to Paris Hilton just after midnight, while Baby Faith was tucked into her bassinet as the music blared.”  Awwww.

It just so happens that we at The Laughing Stork have gotten our hands on the rest of Kelsey’s “Daddy and Daughter Bonding Time” to-do-list, which includes:

1.  Coordinate Trick-or-Treating with Daddy’s pub crawl.

2.  Use dimmed lighting at 4Play Gentlemen’s Club to soothe baby to sleep.  (Bonus:  Can use condoms in basket in restroom to make animal balloons!)

3.  Introduce baby to the beauty of animals with 3AM cockfight in that alley behind Willowbrook High School.

 

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
Share on Facebook
Facebook
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter
Pin on Pinterest
Pinterest

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

More in Celebrities

To Top