New father Kelsey Grammer apparently knows all about the 5 S’s: swaddle; shush; swing; suck; and, of course, SEX IT UP! Which explains why he brought his three-month-old daughter, Faith, to the rockin’ (and typically clothing-optional) Halloween bash at the Playboy Mansion this weekend, prompting one Playmate to Tweet: “Why the fk does Kelsey Grammer have a newborn baby at the Mansion party!?!?!?”
Hey, simmer down, lady. It’s not like the poor guy has millions upon millions in the bank and can afford a nanny to look after — huh. Never mind.
It really is cruel to bring an infant to a Playboy party. To be surrounded by all of those ginormous milk dispensers, yet not a single tap there works…? Cruel, cruel, indeed.
A party-goer tells TMZ that Kelsey was “whooping it up at a table next to Paris Hilton just after midnight, while Baby Faith was tucked into her bassinet as the music blared.” Awwww.
It just so happens that we at The Laughing Stork have gotten our hands on the rest of Kelsey’s “Daddy and Daughter Bonding Time” to-do-list, which includes:
1. Coordinate Trick-or-Treating with Daddy’s pub crawl.
2. Use dimmed lighting at 4Play Gentlemen’s Club to soothe baby to sleep. (Bonus: Can use condoms in basket in restroom to make animal balloons!)
3. Introduce baby to the beauty of animals with 3AM cockfight in that alley behind Willowbrook High School.