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Top 10 Worst Pieces of Parenting Advice I’ve Ever Received

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Top 10 Worst Pieces of Parenting Advice I’ve Ever Received

Parenting is like the Jen versus Angelina debate: everyone has an opinion. I’ve received unsolicited advice on most every aspect of raising my two young children—and not just from my family members. Oh no. I have had a coffee shop barista lecture me on the “only proper way” to potty train my daughter (she was 10 months old at the time) and a hair salon assistant condemn my childcare choices (I guess she didn’t really want a tip). While some opinions have been helpful, the following pieces of eye-roll-worthy advice inspired this list:

Top 10 Worst Pieces of Parenting Advice I’ve Ever Received

10. “You can’t get pregnant if you’re breastfeeding.” My second child proves that wrong.

9. “Put rice cereal in your baby’s bottle to help him sleep through the night.” Uh, thanks, but my 2-month-old is going to hold off on the solid food for now.

8. “Having a second baby is easy.” If by “easy,” you mean “exhausting and chaotic,” then I agree!

7. “Don’t ever let your child watch TV.” Actually, the Imagination Movers make totally acceptable babysitters for my 3-year-old while I’m going to the bathroom or throwing laundry in the washing machine. Even if they do talk to a mouse.

6. “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” This oft-repeated advice may work for some moms, but I am not blessed with the talent to fall asleep on command—so the very moment I would finally fall asleep, the baby would wake up. Better to use that precious free time to get important things done, such as catching up on the latest celebrity gossip.

5. “Don’t pick up the baby when he cries because it will spoil him.” Heaven forbid my child is spoiled with love and reassurance!

Read more not-so-helpful parenting advice over at Disney’s, where I’m a weekly contributor…

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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