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10 Signs You’ve Eaten Too Much on Thanksgiving

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10 Signs You’ve Eaten Too Much on Thanksgiving

10.  After dinner, you are forced to slip on your (or your friend’s) old maternity pants.

9.  Your old maternity pants don’t fit.

8.  You lie down to take a little nap and wake up in mid-August.

7.  You find yourself using the phrase, “I really shouldn’t, but…”

6.  You eat all of the leftovers. On Thanksgiving.

5.  Your toddler asks if you’re pregnant again.

4.  Getting up from the couch requires the assistance of the local fire department.

3.  Actual gravy is oozing from your pores.

2.  The Macy’s Parade staff keeps trying to hitch you to the front of a float.

1.  You look like this:

Lucy and the rest of our zoo wish everyone a happy, excessive amounts of food-filled holiday! To those who don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, we wish you a happy, excessive amounts of food-filled day.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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