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Break Out the Binoculars! It’s Official “Baby Bump Watch” Season with Megan Fox


Break Out the Binoculars! It’s Official “Baby Bump Watch” Season with Megan Fox

Although Megan Fox and hubby Brian Austin Green have yet to address the pregnancy rumors, tabloids have declared that it is officially MEGAN FOX BABY BUMP WATCH SEASON.  Only instead of using binoculars, the paparazzi grab their long-lens cameras and stalk their possibly pregnant prey, then share their observations with the tabloids to document.  The baby bump experts’ findings thus far:

June 7 — In what one celebrity site boldly calls “Megan Fox Maybe Pregnant Pictures in LA,” Megan “shows her belly” and has “one hand on her stomach.”  Don’t worry if you didn’t pick up on these subtle details, yourself.  These baby bump watchers’ keen powers of observation are based on years of analyzing celebrity bumps.

June 8 — Just one day later, baby bump watchers are confident enough to declare Megan is, indeed, pregnant, as she “revealed an unmistakable baby bump.”

June 11 — Here, Megan is “showing off” her “growing baby bump,” according to top celebrity baby bump watch experts.  And I must agree:  she is practically shoving her pregnancy down our throats with that revealing outfit.  Could she BE any more obvious?

Whether it is a baby bump (probably) or just too many slices of Papa John’s, I always subscribe to this rule:  unless you can actually see the baby’s head crowning, do not assume a woman is pregnant.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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