Top 10 Signs My Toddler is Driving a Car on the Road

As you can see, our kids are ready to hit the streets of Los Angeles in their sweet wheels, so I just wanted to give fellow drivers a heads up.  If you notice any of the following warning signs, well, then my toddler may just be driving that car in front of you.

Top 10 Signs My Toddler is Driving a Car on the Road

10.  Has a bumper sticker that says, “I BRAKE FOR CHEERIOS.  BUT NOT SO MUCH FOR PEOPLE, OTHER CARS OR WALLS.”

9.  If you ask her to please go faster, she will slow down to a frustrating snail’s pace.

8.  Drives erratically due to DUIS (driving under the influence of sugar).

7.  Points at drivers who cut her off and yells, “That car needs a time-out!” (as she yells, much to my embarrassment, when I grumble at other drivers).

6.  Drives environmentally-friendly foot-powered vehicle.

5.  Screams “NO, DON’T WANT TO!” when a red sign demands that she “STOP.”

4.  Stops to collect dirty rocks, dead leaves and discarded chewing gum off the road.

3.  Has problems sharing the road with others:  “MINE!”

2.  Tries to get out of speeding tickets by insisting, “No, Curious George do it!”

1.  Eschews car washes in favor of wiping down car with brand new Ralph Lauren dress.