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10 Ways to Prepare Your Kids for Their First Trip to Vegas

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10 Ways to Prepare Your Kids for Their First Trip to Vegas

That’s right — family road trip to Vegas, baby!  In the spirit of our upcoming trip, here are some ways that parents can get their young children ready for Sin City…

10.  Dress your kids in the city’s native attire.

9.  Be sure to have plenty of educational reading material for them.

8.  Tell toddler she’ll earn “special stickers” if she learns how to count cards for Mommy and Daddy.

7.  Change setting on baby’s white noise machine from “mother’s heartbeat” to “obnoxious slot machine.”

6.  Inform your kids that Vegas is the one place where running around without their pants on actually is acceptable — in fact, it’s expected.

5.  Same goes for missing the potty.

4.  What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.  Meaning:  DON’T TELL GRANDMA AND GRANDPA HOW DADDY LOST A GRAND AT THE CRAPS TABLE, ‘KAY?

3.  As far as your kids know, “Thunder Down Under” is just a funny way of saying fart.  *Ahem*

2.  All those hours invested in helping your baby stack cups?  Now is the time to apply that brilliant stacking talent to Mommy’s chips!

1.  Teach your kids how to wash dishes — because that may be the only way the family will be able to afford gas for the car ride home.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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