News Roundup: Toddlers & Tiaras Features Girl with Fake Breasts & John Stamos Demonstrates How to Cuddle

Toddlers & Tiaras goes beyond fake tanning and waxing this week — Yes!  It’s possible! — and shows a 4-year-old contestant wearing fake breasts and a butt enhancer for her Dolly Parton routine.  “I want to show the judges how beautiful I am,” little Maddy says. “I love dressing up like Dolly!”

In case your man need to brush up on his snuggle skills:  John Stamos’ Guide to Cuddling video.  Or in case you just want to get your dose of John Stamos in boxers.  Mmmm-mmmm.  [CollegeHumor]

Tori Spelling’s son wears silver nail polish — which obviously is going to lead to a life of gender confusion.  *Ahem*  [The Celebrity Stork]

This poor kitten can really use the long weekend.  [The Furry Stork]

It’s Labor Day Weekend.  So put your fingers to work and check out the latest deals ‘n’ steals in online shopping.  [The Nesting Stork]

The Laughing Stork was nominated for “Funniest Mom Blog” on Parents.com.  Woo-hoo!  I promise you a lifetime of good karma if you vote for me.  Okay, maybe not, but I can promise I’ll buy you a margarita if we ever run into each other at a bar.  (You can vote using your Facebook account.)  [Parents.com]