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The Top 10 Reasons ‘Modern Family’ is Recasting Lily

Television

The Top 10 Reasons ‘Modern Family’ is Recasting Lily

It’s a tot-eat-tot world in Hollywood, as twins Jaden and Ella Hiller — who play Lily on Modern Family — are finding out.  The ABC comedy is spreading the word around the casting community that it is looking for an “Asian, 3-to 4-year-old” to play the daughter of Mitchell and Cameron.   Although there is still a small chance the Hillers will stay on the show, writers want to keep their options open.

“We adore Jaden and Ella, but have started to think that they’d rather be at home playing than working as actors,” executive producer Steve Levitan tells Entertainment Weekly. “Maybe they don’t love to be on a set and have to listen to us do a scene 10 times. Maybe they would be happier being kids. We don’t want them to be unhappy. If we feel it’s not in their best interest to stay, we will replace them, and ask that people forgive us for doing so.”

Of course, producers never tell us what’s really going on behind the scenes.  Which is why The Laughing Stork presents…

The Top 10 Reasons Modern Family is Really Recasting Lily:

10.  Let’s just say the twins insist on more than just juice in their on-set sippy cups.

9.  The twins’ suggestion that Sofia Vergara dress more demurely did not go over well with the mostly male production staff.

8.  Jaden and Ella are too embarrassed to remain on a network that also airs Wipeout.

7.  The twins are counting on Ryan Seacrest to give them their own hit reality show instead.

6.  The toddlers rejected the producer’s “suggestion” that they shave off a few months with a shot of Botots (Botox for Tots!).

5.  They’re afraid of “that really grumpy man” (Ed O’Neill).

4.  According to the toddlers, the producers “do not have a proper appreciation of our deadpan take on the character of Lily; therefore, we must leave because of creative differences.”

3.  The twins are tired of begging on-set Food Services to include Cheerios.

2.  The girls would like more time to pursue “other opportunities,” like edgy independent film roles and potty training.

1.  Three words:  CELEBRITY BABY REHAB!  (See also:  #10)

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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