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Top 10 Signs You’re the *Second* Baby

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Top 10 Signs You’re the *Second* Baby

10.  Your parents don’t have to write many baby gift thank-you cards — if any.

9.  When your pacifier falls on the ground, your mom rubs it on her shirt and sticks it back in your mouth.

8.  Whenever strangers ask your parents, “First baby?” and your mom and dad reply “No, second” — the strangers immediately lose interest.

7.  Three hyphenated words:  Hand-me-downs.  Even if your older sibling is not the same gender.

6.  Your nursery is not quite done yet.  And you are approaching your 18th birthday.

5.  Your parents pick you up only when your cries threaten to wake the firstborn.

4.  Your only “birth announcement” is a shout-out on Twitter.

3.  Your parents change your diaper… when they notice it is sagging to your knees.

2.  Your parents’ camera battery rarely needs to be re-charged.

1.  And when your parents DO take pictures of you?  It is only to memorialize ridiculous moments like this:

“Accessory” courtesy of Big Sister.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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