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How the Older Siblings Are Preparing for the Arrival of Freedom


How the Older Siblings Are Preparing for the Arrival of Freedom

Lucy is laying claim to her daddy.  (“MINE!” as Miss Skye would say.)

Miss Skye is insisting that SHE’S the baby, demanding that I carry her like a baby — even in shopping malls — and pretending to drink her doll’s bottle of milk.  (Oh yeah, this should go splendidly.)

Marcy is “trying out” the new placemats we bought, rotating among all six of them to ensure that each and every one is properly furry and disgusting before my parents arrive this week.  

Mmmm!  Who wants spaghetti with fur balls?  Mom…?  Dad…?  Freedom…?

Don’t worry. We’d purée it for the baby, of course.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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