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The Laughing Stork’s Celebrity DILF #14: Tom Cruise

Celebrities

The Laughing Stork’s Celebrity DILF #14: Tom Cruise

Thomas Cruise Mapother IV

Deets: 49 years old; born in Syracuse; actor and producer

Family Low-Down: Has two teenage children, Isabella Jane and Connor Antony, with ex-wife Nicole Kidman.  He also has a daughter, Suri, with current wife Katie Holmes.

DILF-able Qualities:  You know he totally brings the crazy in bed.  (And say what you will about him, but the man’s held up well.)

What we imagine Tom’s O-face looks like:

As we said:  Cra-zay.

Celebrity DILF #15>>

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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